The Handpresso

The XmasEpic Collective faces difficult choices in the near future, and none have such far-reaching repercussions than those that lead to the possibility of caffeine withdrawal.
I am happy to announce that a special bike pump espresso machine has been commissioned for the XmasEpic: the handpresso.

This will ensure adequate caffeine ingestion in the event that one of us become stranded away from a café. Below are attached videos of various tests supplied by the winning tender.

As a (wanted or unwanted) side-effect it also appears to promote suggestive eye contact with the opposite sex. Très chaude.

If the name is not suggestive enough, and just so there is no ambiguity about what is going on here, check this out:

Of course, the handpresso is just the latest development of what is know globally as “tech convergence”, and the potential of the bike pump does not stop here. I can see future en velo uses in such diverse areas as methane storage/recompression, emergency exsanguination, and micro-brewing.
Surprisingly it appears that Apple has missed out, the latest iPhone does not yet have espresso-making, or even tyre-pumping, capabilities. Sony seems to have it covered with their latest POS.

This entry was posted in accessories, doping for amateurs, on the juice, provocative. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The Handpresso

  1. Obbly Gobbly says:

    Mettre une dosette E.S.E. pour moi imme(acute)diatement!

  2. Pingback: 2011 Merchandise | Xmas Epic 2011

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